Evening Hosts Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Program

Late-night's prominent hosts spent the airtime criticizing former President Donald Trump's recently launched immigration initiative, dubbed the "Trump card," describing it as a blatant pay-for-access scheme for the affluent.

The Late Show's Sarcastic Spin

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic Christmas jingle directed at the president. "He is making a list, checking it twice, then handing that list to the agents at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... destroys everything he handles."

Colbert's target was the controversial initiative which enables international nationals to purchase U.S. residence for the price of one million dollars, or "premium" tier for five million. A government website guarantees processing "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief thought here to rich applicants: prior to you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He pointed out that the scheme is also designed to "squeeze cash" from businesses wanting to hire skilled workers, with significant costs. "That is a lot of fees, however if you sign up, you additionally get two free nights at a hotel of your choosing – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"The most thorough screening the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these applicants truly are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"It's a card that will allow wealthy foreigners to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your selection."

"It might be time to update that poem on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your poor masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel teased the brevity of the application, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Economic Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping poll ratings amid economic concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a another term since they were angry about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a effort to discuss prices, Trump held a press conference in front of a selection of grocery items, where he behaved peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by criticizing right-leaning media defenses of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.